Dear Abby - Homeschool Style

I frequently receive e-mail questions as a support group leader and homeschool website creator from new homeschool moms who simply need affirmation of their desire to homeschool or concerns they have regarding the choice they made. Here's one such letter from a mom of an infant.

"My child is only 10 months old, so there is no pressure yet w/ schooling, but I was hoping I could obtain your perspectives on a few things. I want to homeschool my son at least through elementary school. My mom says putting them into regular school will put them at a disadvantage if I don't start them in a regular school. My husband wants them to be involved in school sports (hence going to regular school) I do not want them to receive a GED, but an actual high school degree, as some places will not hire w/ just a GED. Do any of you even bother with football and basketball (winter/school sports) or is this even a concern? I want to look into every aspect of this before I jump on board, only to find my ship sinking. I live in XXXX County, have a teaching degree and have taught at several elementaries, hence KNOWING that I do not really want my child to attend public school. I guess I just need the "down lo" on anything you can provide. Thanks a lot for any help."

I'd be glad to answer your questions.

We've been homeschooling (all boys) for 14-15 years now and have graduated one son (soon to attend the local university majoring in journalism) and have two more in high school. My opinions are based on homeschooling from a Christian perspective.

You are doing the absolute right thing in thinking this through now. It's never, never too early to start planning. It doesn't mean you will start educating formally obviously.

I began homeschooling thinking that I would homeschool through elementary and then play it by ear from there. By attending homeschool conferences (beginning before my children were school age) it helped to solidify so many things in my thinking. If there is any advice I could give you, it would be to do whatever you can to attend a large homeschool conference. We attended, for our own benefit, the Midwest Homeschool Convention in Cincinnati this year (and several others as we are vendors also) which was well worth the 5 hour drive. There will be one in Memphis next year, equally good. The Indianapolis conference is always a top-notch Christian convention and worth every dime spent.....no qualms. I am a tightwad homeschooler and if it comes between buying a fancy new curriculum or attending a homeschool conference, the conference wins hands down.

Now why am I so gung-ho on conferences? If you want the nitty gritty, there is no comparison to the vast, vast wealth obtained....not only from attending sessions, but speaking to vendors, looking at the material, being introduced to TONS of new material, meeting and chatting with lots of other homeschoolers etc. Even watching other homeschoolers as they make decisions, handle their children, interact with vendors as they make purchases....you will learn from all this. You will leave inspired and full of thoughts, perspectives, ideas, and more than you ever could gain by surfing the web or even reading homeschooling books.

Now about your questions regarding the GED. My son was homeschooled through graduation, and like almost all of our friends, we issued a standard diploma, not a GED. That's old school or for rural folks. Keeping track of credits is not a big deal, and the best part is that you can give them credits on the classes that you want them to take. My son earned high school credit for his after-school job, his creative writing (he is a budding novelist so he earned writing credit for his hours spent sweating over his novel) and even his church attendance (Religious Studies). He was also involved in a homeschool debate club, which was invited to participate with the university debate team and earned credit for it as well as accolades for his work there.

Lest you think I am an over-the-top organized homeschooling fiend, I am not. I love homeschooling but am pretty laid back when it comes to testing, record-keeping, grading etc.

Sports: the stupidest (bar none) reason to attend public school. If sports is a must, do intra-mural or join a gym for physical activity. No need to subject your baby to the attitudes, drugs, tempers, language, peer-pressure, drinking, etc., associated with most school sports programs. My boys all chose to participate in fencing (with swords, not to keep horses in) which looks GREAT on a transcript. (Yup, that's why we did it.) They totally enjoyed it, and took lessons from a Christian fencing instructor who became a homeschool dad because of the great homeschooled boys and girls he taught. He also was the University fencing instructor so that opened doors for them to participate in larger tournaments. As for football, basketball and baseball: my boys play with other homeschooled students without all the hoopla. A football travels with us in our minivan everywhere we go for an easy pick-up game at the park, in a parking lot at church or backyard BBQs.

Lastly, and speaking from experience, forget how you taught in school and simply enjoy learning alongside your children. When I put on my "teacher's" hat, the kids turn into public school automatons, complete with glazed eyes. When I keep on my "mom's" hat, and stay humble, they love to learn. It's not easy, but worth the sacrifice.

I hope these answered some of your questions. Blessings to you and your little one! Enjoy these years......they are FLEETING. Cuddle, hold and love your baby while he/she still fits on your lap. You'll not regret a minute you "waste" cuddling, but will regret the missed opportunities or the times that they spent with other people influencing them.

Best of God's grace to you, dear little homeschool mom.